Sweet Blog Buddies,
Just 72 hours after my last post, my life changed with the discovery of a lump in my breast. I went immediately to my family doctor and from his office, had a mammogram. The first round of tests revealed a suspicious area where my lump was, so another round of testing was required. That testing led to a biopsy which revealed that I have breast cancer. It is in its early stages and I would count it a privilege if you would add me to your prayer list. I have weighed heavily the decision to blog about my journey because I do not want the disease to be magnified, but the God I serve. I don't have many details yet because my doctors are still formulating the "plan", so let me share with you what I do know.
The weekend before my discovery, I had the chance to spend hours with the Lord and if you read the previous post, you know that He spoke heavily to me on the subject of abiding in Him. What I also know is that since January, He has impressed upon me that "my purpose is to know Him, to progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving, recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly..." (Phil. 3:10) I have prayed that I would know Him more and I have prayed that He would not let me miss a single opportunity to do just that. His character attributes are endless and I will never know them completely, this side of heaven. But this is an opportunity for me to know Him as Jehovah Rophe-the God that heals. I know He is THE Healer, but now I will know Him as MY Healer. I am not afraid. I am not perplexed. I am not struck down. I am on an amazing journey to know my Saviour more. And when this battle is over, I will be stronger for it. I love Him more than I could possibly express with our limited alphabet, but the really cool thing is that He loves me even more.
The morning after I heard that we were possibly facing this challenge, I got up early to have my time with the Lord. I was craving comfort "food" so I decided to start with Psalm 91...it is filled with such hope and promise and it is precious to me for many reasons. But before I turned to it, I decided to stick with my regular reading plan, thinking that maybe God would want to speak a new word to me regarding my situation. So I opened up my Bible to October 29th and began to read the Psalm for that day and can I just say I fell in love with my Jesus all over again...it was Psalm 91. You can read it here.
He has been with me every step of the way, continually placing sweet blessings in my path and reminding me to rest under the shadow of His wing. I heard this song today and it sums it up beautifully:
The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone
Thank you for praying. I will keep you posted on my deeper discoveries of His boundless love for me and His mercies that are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness.